Why do I believe in God?

I decided to ask myself this question and answer it on the fly…

So here it is in video form!

Back in the States (but more to come!)

Hello everyone! Here is a brief update!
So much has happened on the trip that I still need to share with you all! I will be posting what happened each day in detail soon. However, I wanted to make sure that friends and family knew that I am home in Washington.

THANK YOU so much for the support in prayer and in funding! I am fully funded! 🙂 Man, God is so good and faithful to do all things past what we could ask for or expect… Mind blown!

Night all!

Looking for a brighter day

Money and finances…

Honestly, I really freaking hate this topic. I hate asking for money. I hate funding… I just hate it!

To be honest, I struggle believing that God wants to provide for me. I ask myself: “Why should God provide for you when your family had money issues? Why do you get to be the special case in your family?”

I have tried the “hands off approach” to handing money, but in it I feel like I am not stewarding my finances and gifts well… I have tried the more common “death grip” approach. And it seems there is never enough and I feel I am actually the one being gripped to death by it.

At this moment (not just the El Salvador costs), I do not really feel hope in this area of life. Finances seems like a mountain that I am trying to climb but the climb seems never ending and there aren’t many breaks.

The deadline for the mission’s trip to El Salvador was yesterday… So my moment of truth will be tomorrow during morning class. To be brutally honest, I don’t see how the funds are going to come in. I asked our funding person yesterday at noon where I was with finances and she said I have ~$1900 to raise for outreach and ~$600 for class. That is a lot of money!

In my mind, $2000 in a week might as well be a million.  I feel like I have hope the funding will (has) come in, but that is pretty dim at the moment. It is hard not to move to hopelessness with this issue (because I feel that disappointment in this subject is inevitable). I hope tomorrow will be brighter and prove my skeptical mind wrong.

I  pray, God, that You expand my limits and my view of what You can do. Lord, You teach me to not look to money or CONTROL over it for satisfaction. I want to live a little under my means so that I can generous and give to those in need with my time, resources and finances.  Please, help me to steward $ well and not turn on You when I can’t see opportunities pan-out because of a current lack. I want to release my control over these things because they end up controlling me.

What I will be doing in El Salvador

Hey all! I have more information about the El Salvador Trip!

Our point of contact in El Salvador will be a missionary couple Wally and Judy Cook through a ministry called Amazing Love Missions (ALM).

How Amazing Love Missions (ALM) started…

The Cook’s worked as youth pastors at Word of Victory Outreach Center in Texas for over 8 years. During the latter year of their time in Texas, they made multiple youth and medical relief short term trips, which mixed youth at their local church with other organizations. Through this, doors opened in El Salvador as they felt God calling them into full time mission’s work. Thus, ALM was founded in 2003 when they moved to El Salv!

ALM has 3 goals:

1.  To bring revival to youth of El Salvador.
2.  To help the poor through feeding programs, English schools, micro enterprise projects, college scholarship programs and building projects.
3.  To host mission teams from the US to expand scope of projects and to create long-term relationships with ALM and communities served. And through these relationships enable teams to encounter God’s love through the El Salvadorian culture.

What I bring? Why I want to go?

1. I want to share my story of healing to encourage and uplift those who are currently going through similar things… like hopelessness, rape, abuse (physical or mental), and emotional trauma.

2. God was faithful to show me that El Salvador was where I should go on this Outreach trip. Because of that, I am REALLY EXCITED to see what good will come out of it! I know it will be fulfilling even if it is hard!

3. I want to help in anyway that I can!… ESPECIALLY because they have little resources compared to people in the US.

4. I get to visit the surrounding VILLAGES. This is cool because I love the Spanish culture and I have always wanted to do “rural” missions.

5. I love people! I would love to form lasting relationships and partnerships with these people and ALM. I want to help provide opportunities to those who have limited ones by connecting locals with those available through information, planning and encouragement. We plan to encourage the students by  finding and emphasizing on their strengths through the power of God.

For more information about Amazing Love Missions or the Cook’s, please visit http://www.amazinglovemissions.com/.

To make it possible for me to go, please give (I need to raise $2400 by 3/18) by visiting https://www.formstack.com/forms/citycentral-catalyst_first_year.

Looking forward to the destination (El Salvador)

26 DAYS UNTIL LEAVING FOR EL SALVADOR

The countdown begins! I am very excited to see what will happen in the upcoming days as well as on the trip to El Salvador. As for now, here is an update on finances…

As of today, I am still virtually at a halfway point, needing about $2925 within the next 2 weeks. This will pay for the last portion of the training that I am receiving in urban ministry ($800) and the rest will go toward the cost of  the outreach trip (April 2-14), which includes costs of airfare to El Salv, ground transportation, exit taxes, local ministry, translator(s), housing, and food.

So, I guess once again I am looking at a mountain in finances. I am not feeling as poetic as I did on Jan 15 when I found out I needed 1500 in a week… BUT I am confident (or at least less freaked out) that God will see me through as he did last time. Yep, that’s all! 

If you feel led to donate (tax deductible) and join the cool things that God is doing in my life and those who I impact, either…

1. Fill-out the form: https://www.formstack.com/forms/citycentral-catalyst_first_year  (There will be a processing fee of ~3% for electronic payments)

OR

2. Send a check addressed to City Central Church at

2522 N. Proctor St. #1
Tacoma WA 98406

***Remember to include my name in the memo or on the form!! Thank you!

Why am I doing a blog?

To many people this will seem out of the blue or unlike me because in a sense I am coming out of the “spiritual”/”religious” closet. I am so used to hiding portions of myself from people. Ultimately, this is my fault because I chose how I respond to what someone says or thinks about me (whether it is right or wrong). However that is not to say that there weren’t any environmental influences because I did come from a “liberal”/”relativistic” college where being a Christian was scoffed at or where most thought you were stupid or ignorant at best; ESPECIALLY from many of my peers and teachers in the Biology and Chemistry department.

So for the majority of college, I separated my academic life from my spiritual life or at least I attempted… all the while I slowly lost my voice, and began posting less and less on social media. And those things that were once fun to do when I had less conviction, became irritations and ugly reminders of what I was not but what I was expected to be because I was hiding…

I had so much hatred for myself for not standing up for what I believe(d) in class, so much fear for being seen as another stupid Christian… So much pressure walking with a chip on my shoulder. And so much unused compassion when I saw friends hurting and aching for more… because I chose to hate them by putting a bandage over something that should just be addressed right then. I was acting as a great coward… with my doubt and questions keeping me silent from addressing things that I had the answer to… things I had the healing for… SHOOT, I had even seen miracles and encountered things that I could not be explained with human reasoning… And yet, I stayed SILENT.

Honestly, I wanted to be comfortable. I did NOT want conflict… I did NOT want people to judge me. I wanted full control over how I spun things to each of my friends. So yeah… I would never in my right mind write a blog. It was too vulnerable, too raw, TOO REAL .

From this point on, I am not going to hide my story from everyone and to tell you the truth: yes, I do care if I say the wrong things… and yes, I am terrified and yes, I know very little about the world… but I do have my story and those that I encounter. I want freedom from this control that entangles me, binds me and ravishes me.

My goal of this blog is to bring you all on this journey with me into the unknown. Hopefully, I am venturing from a doubting Thomas or Jonah to the woman of faith that God has called me to be. I want to show what God’s hand looks like in my life and share the healing that is found in an intimate relationship with Jesus.

El Salvador detalles

Thought it would be cool to research El Salvador… (I know I’m a nerd and PROUD of it!) This is what I found…

::El Salvador::

POPULATION: El Salv is the smallest and most dense country in Central America. It’s southern boarder hits the Pacific Ocean. It currently ranks 12th out of Latin American countries (20 or 26) and 4th in Central America (7) for the Human development Index (a composite statistic used to rank countries in human development based on basic life expectancy, education and income indices).  It is a Spanish speaking country with a large influence of Roman Catholicism.

TOPOGRAPHY &WEATHER: Most land is covered by mountains…………… The weather in April generally has highs in mid-90s and lows in mid-70s.

ISSUES: Outside of the breath-taking beauty of El Salv, internally El Salv is facing much violence. It is one of the most violent countries in the world because of its organized crime, gang activity, militarization, political repression and poverty  according to (www.share-ElSalvador.org)..

Deadline accomplished

Good news everyone: I raised $1500, which is what was needed to reserve my spot on outreach to El Salvador! That was 1500 in a week!

Thank you everyone who gave in prayer or financially! I feel like recently I have been a little nervous about funds but I have received so much provision. The ways I’ve been provided for have been random like people donating, odd jobs and greatly timed circumstances. Experiences like this make me question why I ever worry? :S (Not to say that you shouldn’t be responsible with money and resources! I just feel a deeper trust and faith that I will be provided for…)

AMAZED

Well, thank you all again! I am really appreciative of the support. I am so excited to see what God has in store this month!

Cheers for 40% of cost provided for! WOOT WOOT.

$2400 out of $5800

Howdy-

Good News! I have collected $750 and now, I just have $750 more to go! Thank you to everyone who gave financially or in prayer. It is utterly miraculous that $750 was accumulated in 5 days!

I can’t wait to see where the funds are at by tomorrow, Tuesday 1/21, which is also the last day to give!

Video of Catalyst Training School

This the Catalyst Training School’s video. It gives detail about the program, what to expect and the great stories about how it was used to really change students lives! (expanded vision)

It is really cool. I kinda wish I had looked at this video before now; It is super informative and much easier to imagine myself doing than just reading text about the program.

Catalyst is really awesome.